The seeds of change are blowing in the damp winds of South London. The hour is mine! I have thought of a use for that cupboardful of seeds at last.

The East London Line is SUCH a brilliant idea. Now we can colonise other areas at night, and develop new hairstyles and electronic sounds. I can't wait.

The estate agents can be a little annoying, but at least I don't have to wear a tie.

I am trying to move out of my flat to a place more befitting my station in life. Luckily not everyone is as observant as they ought to be...

When our neighbours try to wash there can be complications...

I think the market for human traps is underexploited. I am confident that by developing a tea or alcohol based bait I can make some serious money. No one likes having these pests in their home.

...now the second series boxset has appeared... soon they're going to start calling me 'currul' or something.